Why Heroes of the Storm Sucks, Well Sort of Sucks, I'm Pissed Anyway


by Kinyo

I've been playing HOTS, Heroes of The Storm, for about two weeks and this game pisses me off to no end. Maybe I'm just not the type of person who should play video games, but I find the game confoundingly frustratingly. I did enjoy a few aspects, but the game seems hell bent on frustrating the player, and milking him of both joy and money, the latter of which I spent zero.

I knew immediately upon downloading the game for free that the game would not be free. We are all accustomed to being lied to. We know nothing is free. So I set my sights low, and was pleasantly surprised. Upon first engagement the free portion of the game seemed surprisingly playable. After a week I even enjoyed the fact that they rotate the free players so you can get a sample of characters you haven't paid to own.

From this point on I'll try to have nothing good to say about this game. Leveling is too slow. It might be appropriately paced for those dedicating hours and hours to the game, but let's remember that this is a game. The game locks you into a an addicting pursuit of it's meaningless treasures all of which could be made available to you as you already downloaded the content. I miss cheats.

The game further antagonizes players with it's strange shuffling of AI strengths. I get it. They are building a satisfying conquest for players who have the time and determination to become better players (not me). Maybe I should salute their ability to build a game that draws in players, especially since I do enjoy playing online with friends, including other Gaming and Donuts writers, but damn if I'm not incredibly pissed off. I even got make fun of some random guy's mom, after he poked at my skills. I should note that I am writing this article immediately after losing a match, so my opinion may be skewed by a current storm of unrighteous disappointment.


Okay so the game doesn't suck. It even taught me a few lessons about team work, and in a couple of matches I'll be able to buy a character I intend to devote a good deal of time to playing with, but I'm sad right now. This is why poets shouldn't play games. I'm not to good with dealing my emotions out one teaspoon at a time. I feel despair, but soon I'll buy Tyrael and my "Angel Complex" will thoroughly stroked.

It is a tough game but it's packed with things that make it great. This is the first "Multiplayer Battle Arena" game I've played, and likely the last. I won't easily offer up my emotions like this again, but i discovered it in this current Netflix lull while waiting for new Stranger Things and Black Mirror, and after Rick and Morty and Game of Thrones went away so I guess I should say thanks for the entertainment. Thanks... Assholes.

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